Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but desire fulfilled is a tree of life.
Proverbs 13:12

    Say, for example, as a child, I longed for a pony more than anything in the whole world and, Christmas after Christmas, did not get my heart’s desire, I will soon decide that it hurts too much to be always disappointed. I will decide “not to believe” that wishes come true, that Santa cares or that God answers prayers.

    Now this, of course, is very childish. Nevertheless, what we decide is truth when we are children is what guides our hearts. And we believe with our hearts.

for with the heart a person believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation. Romans 10:10

    When what we long for is very important to us we will seek for it with all our hearts. Because we are relatively powerless as children - we can’t just go out and get what we want - we might wish on stars with all of our little hearts that our parents will be good parents; we might throw coins in a wishing well, hoping desperately that grandmother will not die; we might pray to God with all our being that daddy will stop hurting mommy. And when those deep desires go unmet, then the disappointment is devastating.

    So how does a child manage that level of pain? She builds a pain management system. It may go something like this:
    
    1. I can’t have what I really really want the most.
    2. Hoping and believing that I can is dangerous and painful. (Often, this judgment is accompanied by the belief that something is wrong with the child or with those who are withholding her desire.)

    So now we have the pain of the disappointment plus the pain of believing that it is somehow your fault or the fault of those who are supposed to love you. The child has exceeded her ability to understand as well as her pain threshold. What can she do to manage this pain? She is likely to decide that if she hadn’t hoped or believed, then she wouldn’t have been hurt. She decides to never ever hope or believe for anything she “really” wants again. After all, she can’t have it.

    At this point, she has given up on having her heart desires fulfilled and moved to containing the pain of disappointment and avoiding future pain through an inner vow, the last step in the pain management system.

    3. I will never ever hope or believe for anything I really want again.

Sample Pain Management System

1. Heart belief
    I can’t have what I really really want the most. Hoping and
    believing I can gets me hurt.
2. Judgment
    Hoping and believing is bad and dangerous.
3. Vow
    I’ll never believe or hope ever again.
4. The Enemy
    Evil spirits attach to the vow to “help” the child never hope or believe again.

    I want to spend a moment on number 4: The Enemy. Here’s how these, usually low-level, evil beings work. Let’s say our little girl grows up, becomes a Christian and begins to pray for herself and others. As long as her prayers are about situations that she is not deeply invested in, she will believe that her prayers are heard, and she will be reasonable certain that her prayers will be answered. But as soon as she deeply needs her prayers to be answered, her heart will say: I can’t have what I really really want the most. Hoping and believing I can gets me hurt.
    
    This will activate her vow to “never believe or hope ever again.” And the enemy spirits attached to that vow will go to work.
    
    Most commonly, what I see happen is that the praying person will begin to struggle with doubt and unbelief. She will “feel” the presence of unbelief and will try to resist it or deny it. But it will “feel” so real that she will eventually be swamped with hopelessness and grief. This is the enemy’s way of “helping” her keep the vow to “never believe or hope ever again.”

     Please note that it only activates when you are asking for something you really really want or need.

    Now let’s mix in a generational component. You are born into a family line that has suffered major disappointment and from the eyes of your relatives flows the message that it is not safe to hope or believe for what you really want. You just won’t get it. It is not for “us.” Because these evil beings are generationally empowered, so they have an extra wallop.

Let’s pray:
    Father God, Creator of heaven and earth, I repent for believing the lie that I cannot have what I really really want or need the most. Please forgive me for trying to protect myself from the pain of disappointment by vowing to never hope or believe again. I break that vow, and I send all evil helpers to the feet of Jesus. Help me work through forgiving myself and the others who I believe disappointed me. Help me forgive you for the times I believed you disappointed me or allowed me to be disappointed.
    Please forgive me and my ancestors for partnering with spirits of unbelief, hopelessness, grief and despair in an effort to manage the pain and fear of disappointment. I renounce and reject this evil and everything attached to it. I send it to Your feet, Lord Jesus. Please cleanse, heal and bless my generational line, from its beginning to this present day and forward a thousand generations.
    I pray in the mighty name of Jesus, Amen.

And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.
Romans 5:2-5